Curse

Tiyuri · May 31, 2007, 03:03 PM // 15:03

How to fix HA.

Currently HA is pretty broken, we all know that. However - yesterday I retreated to my study in order to reflect on the situation, I locked myself away and through several hours of deep thought I have come up with the definitive solution.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the 9th skill slot!

Here is a diagram:

But this isn't just any skill slot, oh no, this is a special skill slot. The 9th skill can only be used AFTER you win the match, in which time you will have an entire minute to humiliate, devastate and obliterate your defeated opponents, whilst "Finish Them!" appears on the screen!

Each profession will have a unique finishing skill, these skills will be reflective of said profession, of course - to be able to cap these skills you will have to play 1700 hours of PVE, despite the fact the skills aren't useable in PVE.

The first finishing move we'll discuss is the warrior finisher, in which the warrior rips off the opponents arms and uses them to play the national anthem on the opponents head like a xylophone. When the opponent is dazed and confused the warrior pelvic thrusts the opponent in the face, sending them to the floor where they slowly bleed to death.

The elementalist, mistress of fire and ice, freezes the opponent with laserbeams from her eyes, once the opponent is frozen the player can wand them and shatter the frozen player into a million pieces. The opponent is still able to control their head after the death skill is activated, rolling their frozen head around the level.

The ranger is capable of shooting the opponents head clean off of its shoulders, pinning the severed head to a wall, each time the ranger manages to pull off this shot the severed head is saved with your guildhall, allowing you to obtain a collection of severed heads.

Mesmers are capable of sucking out the opponents brain, this is ironic because the players who need it the most are all running 8 ritualists.

I was going to suggest something to do with smiting for monks, but smiting sucks so much the monk just turns into godzilla.

The necromancer, bent on sadomasochism and self harm, nerfs it's own soul reaping, making the opponent die from shock. This skill has a +15% damage bonus vs PVE players.

The non core professions don't have finishing moves because they've all been deleted.

I hope you enjoy my post and I'll expect to see this implemented by the end of the month at the latest.

If you disagree with any of my suggestions you are dumb + bad at Guild Wars.

Oh and DELETE KILL COUNT ALREADY